The Ten Rules…

During a quiet moment I found myself at the Grauniad reading Ten Rules of Fiction Writing Part 1 and Part 2.   It’s all based on Elmore Leonard’s 10 rules and there are some additional comments from well-known authors.  I remember reading King’s admiration for Leonard; in particular the maxim “Using adverbs is a mortal sin”.  However browsing the other author’s advice it occurred to me that this snippet from Will Self is probably the best I’ve read:

10 Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.

For some reason I want to give this a go.

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