Paul WS Anderson… I hate you

This is an open letter to the other Paul Anderson.  The hack one.  The one who makes terrible films. If you are the good one please stop reading.

Dear Paul,

Please stop making films. Just stop, desist, cease – find a new hobby, do something different.

You made the reasonably enjoyable Event Horizon and then what happened to you?  You made Solider, you made The Sight and then AVP: Aliens versus Predator – a film so bad even its name is nominatively redundant. I look at your spiralling career and I wonder if this is the path you sought when you left film school.  “What have I done ?” I hear you ask.  What have you done… you have made this:

Yes this.  What were you thinking?  What is this?  What were you on when you made it?  Why didn’t you at least attempt to make this?  That is not only a great piece of cinema but an excellent adaptation of the books – it even has a great cast.  Instead you hired Milla Jovovich (your wife) and … Orlando Bloom in some sort of crass faux renaissance France crapfest.

I am led to believe you are trying to remake The Long Good Friday.  My head is in my hands,  I weep at the contempt you evidently feel for other’s work.

Please just stop …

Pretty please.

With a cherry on top.

4 Comments on “Paul WS Anderson… I hate you”

  1. Derek says:

    I wanna see that now!

  2. Mike George says:

    I wholeheartedly agree. This man has been making money from awful films for too long now. He completely ruined one of my favourite video game franchises, Resident Evil, by turning it into a nonsensical action sci-fi piece of bunk rather than sticking to its survival horror roots, and don’t even get me started on AVP! What I can’t understand is why investors continue to give him money. Can they not see how truly abysmal his films are? That said, his films obviously make money, but I’d rather they spend his film budgets on developing actual talent and promising projects than wasting it on this hack.

    I also agree about Event Horizon – it was a very good sic-fi horror which ironically is more along the lines of how Resident Evil should have turned out. It also leads me to speculate that it wasn’t even Mr Anderson who directed it in the first place, because everything he’s released subsequently has been utter tosh – The Three Musketeers!? One of the worst films that has ever been my misfortune to witness.

    I agree, someone please make it stop. Stop giving this man money. And the people who continue to waste their money on his abominations, wake up to it and watch something worthwhile and deserving of your time.

    I just hope he doesn’t get his hands on Robocop or The Terminator…or anything else for that matter.

    Paul W S Anderson you really truly utterly suck.

    Now who’s up for slagging off Michael Bay!?

    Mike George BA MA.

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